The Drying of The Well

In the darkness she let her tears flow freely hiding from the world. The warm wet tears streaked her face, and she held the sob that tried to escape. The tightening of her chest almost unbearable at this point. Her heart was pitter pattering so hard it was more like a thunder of a thousand mustangs. Remi clutched the blanket tighter, and slowly exhaled and then inhaled. This was the only place she could just let the days, weeks, and months go. This was the only place her heart could release the sorrows that collected in it day in and day out. She no longer felt full of life, but more like she was becoming emptier everyday, heavier every hour like the weight of a thousand elephants on her chest.

She had not always been this way, her well use to be so full of water. Her heart so full of light, and her steps were like she was floating in space without gravity. She still projected herself this way to most in the world. She always tried to smile, she did as much as she could for everyone, and still tried to make time for herself and the things she loved. Clive use to fill her soul with energy and love, doing the smallest things that would make her heart leap, but now more often than not they stay in the same room and never speak. Maybe a handful a words in a week. He use to look at her differently, he use to not be able to take his eyes off her, but now. Now he hardly noticed her unless there was something that needed to be done. Gone were the days of surprise pictured texts, silly little good mornings, getting up and sneaking to the coffee pot and surprising her with a hot cup of joe the steam rising to warm her face, the heat on the cup warming her hands and fingers, the aroma wakening her senses a little more. The heat of the liquid slightly bitter and slightly sweet on her tongue as it rolled down into her stomach and spread its warm aromatic energy all through her body as if it had been injected into her veins.Gone were the nightly phone calls, or the conversations of the future, or just the day. Remi sighed and the tears flowed again.

The memories were almost harder to bear than the weight inside her chest. She had been going to long. She knew this feeling well. It would not be long before the tears ceased,and what Clive seemed to not understand or care was that was when he should worry the most. For every act of love given and rejected, For every hurtful word or lie a stone was cast into the well in her heart, and it would not be long until all that was in that well was stone. She could feel it her well drying up, she had little left to give, and she cringed and shuddered at the thought of how she had felt in the past when the well had run dry.

Remi knew now the well would never be completely dry, because she had learned finally to love herself, and that would leave a trickle, but she knew the more stones that were thrown into the well she would have to make a choice. A choice to stay with Clive, or to save herself. She thought of all the strength and energy she poured into everyone and everything around her, and she did not mind, but one can only pour so much energy without being rejuvenated, recharged, or filled up. The sobbing began and Remi could not hold it back. She was a little relieved. She still had tears. That meant there was still time, but the lie from that day had cast a huge stone into the well, and she did not know how much more room was there for her life giving water and more stones.

Clive irritated with the crying left the room. Throwing another pebble unknowingly as he did. The weight pressed even more upon Remi's chest as the conversations of the past few days and the harshly discharged words like a bullet discharged from the barrel of a 9MM bullet soared through the air and into her very spirit. Slowly she exhaled, and inhaled as she did she decided maybe it was not worth any of this. Maybe, she just needed to cut her losses, but she could not; not just yet. Remi knew she would hold on until almost the bitter end until the stones were brimming at the top of the well almost completely sealing off the water from her soul to her heart, and as she sighed laying there alone a chill ran through her body. She knew what that meant, but she just did not have the energy to send it away.Why, could Clive not see what was right in front of him? What had changed? Why did he stop doing the little things that always said I love you? Those meant more than any money he could spend or invest. Why were other people and other things now more important? Why must he hide people from her, and why must he try to cover it up? Remi sighed again as the spirits and other forces within the house began to gather their strength beginning to grow again. This was going to be a long night......